The Temptation in Joining the Yahoo Boys Wagoon.

For a graduate that is broke and unemployed, it takes a lot of work and discipline not to want to join the “Gee boys” a.k.a Yahoo boys.

The moment you finish the routine of four years in the University, you are faced with so much expectations from parents, siblings, uncles, aunties, village people, etc.
High hopes fall on you with minimal or zero aid from the society. People will tell you to make something of yourself but with what raw materials are you to make something of yourself? Your certificate? When you are living in a society where connections speak louder.

In Trevor Noah’s words,
“People love to say, “give a man fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime”. What they don’t say is, “And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod”. That’s the part of the analogy that’s missing”.

When faced with these expectations, fear of the unknown grips you. You want to be successful but what happens if you don’t get to that level where you want to see yourself?

You find yourself drowning in frustration. You avoid checking your bank account balance because doing so sometimes triggers blood pressure.

Your parents expect you to get a job and help out in training your younger siblings.

Bae starts acting one kain, playing hide and seek game and asking where the relationship is heading to.

It’s even more frustrating when you see your mates swimming in riches, wearing gold jewelleries, using the latest iPhones, building mansions and driving the latest cars. It’s frustrating as fuck.

You get tired of sitting your butt at home; you get tired of being jobless; you literally get tired of everything.

Desperation sneaks in and in no time you are telling yourself, “Fuck what the society says about Yahoo boys. I’m gonna give this a try”. It’s either you get rich or you die trying.

With a steady internet connection, you sit in front of your laptop 24/7, strategizing and thinking about lies to be told to ensure maga must pay. You don’t mix business with pleasure or emotions. So once a maga becomes too tough or gets smart, you quickly move on to the next one. Afterall there are many fishes in the river.

But sometimes, you run out of tricks, ideas and strategies. And in an attempt to maintain your “big boy” status, you seek spiritual assistance from herbalists. But then, when the devil gives you a cap, he will take the cap back with your head. So you mortgage your life, destiny and sometimes turn your loved ones useless.

The other day, one of my facebook friends made a post about an aspiring Gee guy who after consulting a Babalawo was told to bring his girlfriend’s underwear; perhaps to tie the girl’s destiny or something. The guy did as he was told.

The Babalawo told him that someone else (perhaps another yahoo boy) had already used it. He had to go look for someone else’s underwear, because, well…he wanted to be an evidence of the swoon song “30 billion in the account”.

You might make it; swimming in riches and living the “Hushpuppi” life until the ancestors in your father’s house locate you; EFCC and SARS will certainly desend on you. In that moment, won’t you be filled with regrets?

Isn’t it better to soak yourself with patience and make money in a legit and enviable way? It’s not easy but certainly your hustle will pay off. May God bless your hustle.

4 Replies to “The Temptation in Joining the Yahoo Boys Wagoon.

  1. There’s honour in dignified work. What’s the point in earning money whose source you aren’t proud to talk about? None. Every one wants to be a success story quite alright, but there are no shortcuts to true success. Keep it coming, Ann!

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