Diary of an Unfortunate Naija Lover Boy 2 – By Okechukwu Anthony.

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Okay… This is not a nollywood part 2 or a follow up diagnosis, but after listening to the pleas of family and friends I decided to give nneka a second chance like APC/PDP 2019.

Wait for it.

A small meal she said; and as I settled down to a bottle of beer to watch the game, the aroma tantalizing my nostrils were indeed a sign of good tidings. These catering schools must indeed be really good!. A plate of well garnished porridge yam unglued my eyes from the telly. It reminded me not to blame Esau for selling his birthright.

The hotness of the first spoon didn’t make me realize I should stand by a tank of water! The next spoon then announced it was a national day for pepper.Probably the federal government forgot to make a public holiday or they did and nobody told me. The instant tears and mucus that came from my eyes, nose and ears reminded me of a typical yoruba woman’s dish. Obviously ” Jacob deceived Esau with something else”.

She explained that it was a tiny voice in her head that told her to add more pepper. Well, looks like that her village uncle’s soft work story was indeed true. Immediately, she promised to prepare a sumptuous delicious pot of rice for breakfast. I had to wake up early to hide all soaps and detergent. Once bitten, twice shy. It was when she requested for extra tins of tomato I knew it was beyond Olamide story for the gods.

According to her, the 700naira fresh tomatoes I bought and half dozen of tinned tomatoes I had in store wasn’t enough to redden the stew for the rice. In this recession? She would most likely drink blood in her next life.
Well, I simply told her outright, with all the energy I could muster and heart strong enough that..


We should go to our neighbors, since they are setting up canopies and give them the pot as contribution to whatever it is they are celebrating. No need to say I am not doing again or even go for the friend zone. Indomie and cornflakes will serve for now. Just that man is not getting any younger.

When my mum visited and saw a few of Nneka’s things lying around, she prodded me to know who the ‘she’ is. I tried dodging the questions but it was obvious my settling down was the main reason for her visit. I told her and promised to introduce the ‘she’ when the opportunity presents itself. Women being who they are no matter the age, she accompanied me to church on Sunday.

I don’t know how she did it but when she noticed the holistic chemistry between Nneka and I at the choir stand, my mum knew she ‘was’ the one. I don’t know if Nneka knew my mother was in church because the way she sang, danced, prayed and even spoke in tongues surprised me and went on to convince my mother that she ‘is’ the one. Well, guess the whole FBI story about young ladies is true.

After church, how she knelt down and greeted my mom made me realize that I might not have been honouring our mother Mary well enough. At home my mom won’t let me rest. It was Nneka this! Nneka that! . How do I tell her that ”if the easiest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach, Nneka is on her way to my toes literally”.

I don’t know how it happened but my mom convinced me that I should propose to Nneka…

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Okechukwu Anthony is a scriptwriter, an actor and a script supervisor. He studied Medical Laboratory science at the prestigious Imo State University, Owerri. During his free time, he enjoys penning down stories. You can reach him on facebook via Okey ‘squad’ Anthony.

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