Because it was Friday night; a night I take a break from studying the boring school books, I spent the whole night watching movies. One of the movies I saw was, “Girl’s Trip”, a raucous comedy that made me laugh so hard that it brought back one of my roommates from the dream world. Lol.
The movie is actually about four lifelong friends who reunite together after spending so many years apart from each other.
The narrator, Ryan, is a successful writer who has it all, or at least, that is what the title of her bestselling book claims. She has it all; from beauty, to success and a perfect marriage that people look up to. But you see, nobody can actually have everything perfect. It turns out that Ryan’s supposed perfect husband is a real community dick who sleeps around with instagram celebrities.
Though she knows about this, she is willing to put up with it because…well, she is very much terrified of being alone and lonely. So, she rather pretend that everything is fine; smile to the camera; advise other couples on how best to handle their relationships while in real sense it is exhausting keeping up with a community dick as a husband.
But you see, there are some people that when you are around them, you just can’t pretend however hard you try. When Ryan’ friends came around, babe finally had to let down her guards and spill her fears about her “imperfect” marriage.
Towards the end of the movie, she finally found her own voice and walked out of the marriage. She equally made an emotional speech that left her audience tear-eyed.
“I know that there are many of us who stay in a bad relationship because we have convinced ourselves that being disrespected is better than being alone”
That particular statement reminded me of a story one of my friends told me; about a girl who had a “community dick” as a boyfriend. Not only that, dude was the stingiest being you could ever come across.
For the four years these lovers were together, this girl only had one worn-out #5oo wrist watch to show for it. It was the only gift dude actually gave her; a guy that literally earns up to 100k a month.
Babe was always the one giving, making sacrifices, and pushing the relationship to see if it could work out because…well, she had this picture in her head that they were good together.
Dude broke up with her several times but he kept coming back with his well composed speech on how he had become a changed person. Each time he did, babe will open her arms wide and accept him back; not minding the heartbreaks, the tears, and the emotional trauma she was literally passing through. She will consider the good times and let everything go. To her, she couldn’t just leave a relationship that had lasted three, four years.
I think something actually happened and finally the scales fell off from her eyes, she courageously walked away from the relationship without looking back. It must have been tough though but really, it should be one of her best decisions.
Seriously, it doesn’t make sense when you keep holding on to someone or something that you lose sense of who you are. Your ancestors won’t find it funny please. They would probably roll their eyes and wonder if you are of the same kindred with them. Lol.
But jokes apart, they didn’t tie you to a person’s life with a rope. So, why subject yourself to an emotional torture that it takes a toll on your self-esteem?
Truth be told, sometimes we are scared to walk away because we aren’t sure if we will ever find someone willing to be in our lives again; we are scared of being alone; scared that we may not be good enough for someone new. So we become so attached to that abusive lover that without them in our lives, we are like Microsofts without windows.
Being with them drains joy out of us like an air from a punctured tire. But we keep pushing; we keep hoping that things would change and at the end when they get fed up with our annoying insecurities, they dump us like campaign promises. Nah, it ain’t worth it.
Ryan concluded her speech by saying, “No one has the power to shatter your dreams unless you give it to them”.
I hope you muster the courage to find your own voice and walk away when you are being disrespected and treated like shit.
Life is too short to lose your sanity over an asshole.
Your ancestors won’t be proud of you. Trust me.