A Heartfelt Letter To My Future Husband And Big Baby

Dear future husband;

I don’t know what you look like but I’d like to imagine that you are a tall, handsome dude with beards to die for.

Ermmm…okay, I am really blushing and grinning real hard at the thought of us spending the rest of our lives together. I know it may not sound logical but you have been on my mind lately. When I think about my future with you, my stomach fills with all the good types of butterflies. I really can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you but before we walk down the aisle, here are a few things I want you to know.

I want you to know that I am happy right now – as an adventurous 22-year-old lady who is currently serving her father’s land while slowly doing everything she can to chase her dreams as a filmmaker. Well, right now I wouldn’t say that I totally love my job because that’s not where I want to be but I love the crazy friends I have and I love my family.

Baby, when we do meet someday, I want you to understand how ambitious I am; how dear my dreams are to me and how I wouldn’t easily give up on them. I know I am gifted and I know it will be totally unfair to just sit with arms folded. Ermm…I am not sure God will be happy with me on the last day if I decide to let his gifts go to waste. So, right now, I am doing all I can to harness these gifts and put my creativity into good use. But that doesn’t mean I will neglect our family. Nah. Everything in life is all about balance. So in as much as I am purpose-driven, our family will also be my priority. With that said, I hope you don’t wake up one day and ask me to give up my job. That will be the biggest joke ever.

I want you to know that I am not a trophy. Nah, I wasn’t raised to just sit and look pretty on anybody’s shelf. I want to have intellectual conversations with you. I want to help you chase your dreams. I want to be your partner, your teammate and not your prize. It is called life partner for a reason. We may complement each other in some aspects, but are equal in every right. We shall both be equal human beings, parents and partners in crime. We are in this together, baby. We will take important decisions together and share as many responsibilities as we can.

Baby, in as much as you will definitely be my soul mate; I hope you will be my libido-mate too. I enjoy sex. Nah, scratch that, I enjoy crazy lovemaking. I love cuddling a lot. I love foreplay. So, I hope you bring in your A-game because one thing I dread so much in marriage is getting to that point when sex becomes boring or more like a chore. So, sweetheart, we have to put maximum efforts to make sure that never happens. We don’t have to stick with the ordinary bedroom-missionary-style. When it comes to sex, I don’t want us to play safe. We would explore as much as we can; sex on the kitchen counter, in the bathroom, quickies, role-play sex – just name it.

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Sweetheart, I want you to note this: I CAN BE VERY CRAZY. I smile and I laugh a lot. Sometimes, when I laugh, heads turn. Some people find my laughter fascinating, while others find it downright annoying. I can get angry and go from zero to hundred in the split of a second. I can be stubborn too. My emotions are always very extreme. When I laugh, I laugh hard; when I love, I love hard and when I am worried? Lol, it’s not always easy to get me off that mood. I am very outgoing and silly – meaning you need to be able to keep up with my silliness. I will be your personal “Ogbanje”. This is me giving you a heads-up. You better come prepared because if you choose me, you choose my constant mood swings, my tantrums, my childish rants, my annoying laughter, my once a month period pain, my midnight melodrama and my whirlwind feelings. You already know that I react and feel a lot. In other words, I am very emotional.

Okay babe, I know this is Nigeria where most men were raised to believe that “Real men should be able to mask their emotions”. Ermm…I hope you drop that crappy belief before joining me in this “happily-ever-after” journey. I want you to be free to express yourself before me, be sad, cry or be romantic. I wouldn’t want you to hood your emotions because you are trying to be a man. That’s total bullshit!

Again, I love being pampered A LOT! I know it’s kinda strange. I mean, I am the first child of my parents with six young siblings yet I crave for pampering as though my life depends on it. But that’s just me. I love to be taken care of. Sometimes, I deliberately act like a child because I am craving that care. I am a hopeless romantic, babe. I am cool with public displays of emotions. What’s the point of being happy together if we don’t rub it in other couples’ faces?

Sweetheart, society may have given us a label, but first and foremost, you are going to be my best friend, my teammate, my playmate, my shoulder to cry on, my 3am thoughts, my partner in crime, the father of my two kids and my favorite person. I promise to be truthful and faithful to you. I will never try to change you, I will never let you feel unseen and I will always be your number one fan. Babe, you know this “happily-ever-after” journey is not going to be one smooth ride right? I hope you come with the promise that you will do whatever it will take to make it work. With that said, get ready because we will live an exciting and fulfilling life together. Are you ready to settle down with this silly, crazy, adventurous, weird, sensitive, lunatic me? You should really think hard before you spill the phrase, “Will you marry me?”


Your future wife.



11 Replies to “A Heartfelt Letter To My Future Husband And Big Baby

  1. “I am a hopeless romantic” that I know.
    “I am cool with public displays of emotions. What’s the point of being happy together if we don’t rub it in other couples’ faces?” the part where we just deliberately have to make the universe jealous… I’m so down for this ride.

    The journey of eternity with a silly big baby who isn’t scared to go to the extreme

  2. God! I’m so speechless right now. I can’t begin to imagine how amazing his life would be.

    I’d give a 10 to this piece. Awesome!

  3. Dear Future wife,

    You apparently do not know that I’ve been understudying you all these years. I am doing my best to master the characters you’ve highlighted. The classes have not been, I must confess. But I’ve been passing my personal assessment tests. I’m pretty sure that I’ll pass all the exams you’ll set after I pop the big question.

    Till we meet tho.

    Yours in the waiting

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