Can You Really Love Someone And Still Cheat On Them?

So, I asked a question yesterday on social media, “Can you really love someone and still cheat on them?” Well, while some people believed that it is possible to love your partner and still cheat on them, some disagreed.

Lucky said;

“Yes. You can. Cheating isn’t about love. It is about discipline. Once you do not have discipline, nothing can ever make you not to cheat”.

Nonso said;

“Yes. People think love is a feeling. I don’t. I rather think it’s a decision to stick with someone no matter what. It’s easy to make these decisions but are we committed to making it work? That’s another thing! Genuine commitment to that decision (love) is what keeps us from cheating. You’re committed so when you start catching crazy feelings and seemingly beautiful butterflies start flying in our stomachs when we see someone else, we call ourselves back.

Truth is, almost every day our commitment would be tested. How we handle these scenarios when they come up shows how much you want what you have built (the decision to love) to work. A feeling, on the other hand, is flimsy and unstable. If love is a feeling then it means jumping in and out of love would be a daily occurrence for a person. It could happen more than four times in one day. You know how you go from the feeling of happiness to sadness to fear and even pride in one day? That’s how love (if it were a feeling) would be. Very shaky”.

Mario said;
“If you truly love someone, you won’t do anything to hurt their feelings… And cheating is one way of breaking trust in a relationship. So, for me, the love wasn’t genuine or it’s beginning to fade away if you being to entertain the thought of cheating”.

Joel had this to say;
“Every cheater chooses to cheat. In full awareness of their partner’s heart, in full awareness of what it will do to their partner, they chose to cheat! In full awareness of the devastation that they will cause, they chose to cheat and almost certainly made this choice eagerly, excitedly, happily and without the slightest hesitation. It’s a big deal to them. Don’t ever believe the childish, pathetic lie they will tell, that “it was just something that happened.” It was a conscious choice”.

He went ahead and added, “If someone cheats on you, do not ever make the mistake of thinking that the person loves you. They do not”.

For me, I think cheating has a lot to do with discipline than love. People who usually cheat don’t do so because they do not love their partners anymore – it’s because they are not disciplined enough to withstand the temptation that comes their way. I have been a victim. Not that I was the “Cheatee“, I was actually the “Cheater“.

Again, I have seen a lot of married men who cheat on their wives. But hardly would you see any of those men leave their wives for the side chicks. A married man once asked me out and he made me clear that he was never leaving his wife for me. In his words, “My wife and I are in good terms. I just like you and want to be with you”.

So, I would say, if you love someone but you haven’t disciplined yourself enough to stick with one partner, you will always cheat.

But, hey, I still want to know what you think in the comment section.

8 Replies to “Can You Really Love Someone And Still Cheat On Them?

  1. Sometimes Cheating isn’t when you have sex with another person or whether you have discipline or Not. Cheating is all about respect and if you respect your partner enough, you won’t cheat.

  2. Erotic feeling is natural but loving someone is maturity. When you love someone, you’re not laying expectations on the other person. Also, you’re not becoming a burden to the person. You just want him/her to achieve all because you’re with the fellow. I believe people that cheat don’t have a strong reason of loving someones. Besides, some persons are unlovable. So, loving them is -1. The question is why would one love them in the first place? But some persons may look charming, though. It’s when the relationship continues that one would see they are unlovable. It’s only God that helps one see the RIGHT person. God doesn’t give one happiness. It’s human beings, especially the spouse and one’s family and friends that give happiness. What God gives is JOY. Joy is inexpressible but Happiness is expressible. May God helps!

  3. A cheater is someone who cheats. Invariably, the ‘cheatee’ would be the person cheated on. You can’t be a cheater and still claim to be the victim as your article states. This belies logic.
    Anyway, in my opinion, cheating is a decision. It is something that has been thought over by the cheating partner, digested very well and is now bearing fruits. A cheater has no respect/little love left for you, you should just break up with him/her when you can. They will sink every aspect of you faster than whatever sinks fast! To all cheaters out there (including, apparently, this author), una deserve firing squad.

  4. If the question is “is it possible to love someone and still cheat on them?” The answer is yes. Most of us are answering the question “is it good to love someone and still cheat on them?”

    Technically speaking, monogamy in human relationships is society’s creation. And with good reason too, lest I be crucified before I land. The ultimate biological goal of everything in nature is to live a full life and reproduce your genetic material, setting them up too, to live a full live and reproduce. Monogamous families have proven to be more stable and stability ensures that children born into those families are more likely to be well taken care of, groomed to maturity and hence stand a chance to perpetuate the lineage, strictly speaking from a biological point of view.

    Because monogamous relationships are artificial, the biological drive to have sexual relations with other people is still latent for everybody (anybody who says they are unable to feel sexual attraction to people other than their partner is lying).
    However, as creatures who have evolved the capacity for both abstract and practical thought, it is up to the individual, to keep those innate tendencies in check, out of respect for their partner, the bond they share and the attendant privileges it entails.

    Sleeping with someone and loving them are actually mutually exclusive. You can have one without the other and vice versa.
    Let’s also not forget that it also means that one can still be absolutely faithful to their partner, without loving them at all.

    So, choose your struggle.

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