So, I asked a question yesterday on social media, “Can you really love someone and still cheat on them?” Well, while some people believed that it is possible to love your partner and still cheat on them, some disagreed.
“Yes. You can. Cheating isn’t about love. It is about discipline. Once you do not have discipline, nothing can ever make you not to cheat”.
“Yes. People think love is a feeling. I don’t. I rather think it’s a decision to stick with someone no matter what. It’s easy to make these decisions but are we committed to making it work? That’s another thing! Genuine commitment to that decision (love) is what keeps us from cheating. You’re committed so when you start catching crazy feelings and seemingly beautiful butterflies start flying in our stomachs when we see someone else, we call ourselves back.
Truth is, almost every day our commitment would be tested. How we handle these scenarios when they come up shows how much you want what you have built (the decision to love) to work. A feeling, on the other hand, is flimsy and unstable. If love is a feeling then it means jumping in and out of love would be a daily occurrence for a person. It could happen more than four times in one day. You know how you go from the feeling of happiness to sadness to fear and even pride in one day? That’s how love (if it were a feeling) would be. Very shaky”.
“If you truly love someone, you won’t do anything to hurt their feelings… And cheating is one way of breaking trust in a relationship. So, for me, the love wasn’t genuine or it’s beginning to fade away if you being to entertain the thought of cheating”.
Joel had this to say;
“Every cheater chooses to cheat. In full awareness of their partner’s heart, in full awareness of what it will do to their partner, they chose to cheat! In full awareness of the devastation that they will cause, they chose to cheat and almost certainly made this choice eagerly, excitedly, happily and without the slightest hesitation. It’s a big deal to them. Don’t ever believe the childish, pathetic lie they will tell, that “it was just something that happened.” It was a conscious choice”.
He went ahead and added, “If someone cheats on you, do not ever make the mistake of thinking that the person loves you. They do not”.
For me, I think cheating has a lot to do with discipline than love. People who usually cheat don’t do so because they do not love their partners anymore – it’s because they are not disciplined enough to withstand the temptation that comes their way. I have been a victim. Not that I was the “Cheatee“, I was actually the “Cheater“.
Again, I have seen a lot of married men who cheat on their wives. But hardly would you see any of those men leave their wives for the side chicks. A married man once asked me out and he made me clear that he was never leaving his wife for me. In his words, “My wife and I are in good terms. I just like you and want to be with you”.
So, I would say, if you love someone but you haven’t disciplined yourself enough to stick with one partner, you will always cheat.
But, hey, I still want to know what you think in the comment section.