For a girl that grew up along with six brothers, creating female friendships could be tasking. I feel more comfortable talking with the opposite sex even if we are just meeting for the first time. But ladies? I don’t know. I just develop cold feet immediately. It’s weird, I know.
But thing is, I grew up surrounded by boys. I played and dined with them. I sat close to them in class; went home together. Amid numerous boys, I would stand out, talking and laughing with them. But the moment you leave me with just a girl, I go blank.
Honestly, this has affected me a lot. I usually go green with envy when I see ladies with lots of female friends posting pictures of their friends with the caption, “My girls” accompanied by a love emoji. I am left wondering why my case is different. Why don’t I have ladies as a squad? A culture like, “Ladies night out” is so alien to me.
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All my life, I have only had two best friends of the same gender. And these ladies – they made effort to get close to me and that was the reason I was able to warm up to them.
Anyway, this post is not meant to show you guys how miserable I am without a female squad. I just want to share how my lack of female friendships has affected me.
I suck at makeup
It is no longer news that I am terrible at making myself up. All through my university days, I went to school from home. I was too serious that I had zero friends and my best friend then was not even the “makeup” type. Law school, I had female roommates but who had time to sit down and teach me makeup? They rather make me up if I had anywhere I was going. If I am surrounded by ladies most of the time, I believe I should have been good at making myself up.
The last time I bought a makeup kit, it was fake and since then I have given up.
My dress sense is zero
My roommates in law school can attest to this. I am terrible at dressing up. My best memory of them was the way they usually ransacked my wardrobe whenever I am going out – say, on a date. But after my law school and I was back to associating more with guys, I went back to my jean, polo, and sneakers. At least, you can never go wrong with those.
A lot of guys think I am a flirt
I have dealt with this a lot and still dealing with it. Because I am so comfortable around the male folks, I laugh and play easily with them, they usually misread my actions. They think I am interested in them and they start catching feelings. Just like that? Lol, sorry, bro. I never intended to hurt your feelings but I am more comfortable having you in my friendzone.
I rarely have visitors. I don’t mind this though. I usually prefer my accompany.
Having guys as friends have its peak but sometimes I crave the need to have a lady around. Of course, I have females I talk and laugh with but I just don’t have someone I share a deep connection with. There are discussions, feelings that I have buried merely because I don’t have someone of the same sex to share them with. I can’t have all deep conversations with a guy because he will never understand no matter how much he cares about me.
The other day, one of my male friends took it upon himself to hook me up with a lady so I can be friends with her. Dude met me one evening looking so bothered. He asked me what was wrong and the only thing I could say was, “I can’t talk to you, I want to talk to a lady”. The next day, he sent my number to one of his female friends and told the girl to try and be friends with me.
To the ladies who have female squad, I hope you value them, especially if y’all support each other to the core. When ladies come together to support each other without hate or envy, magic happens. I look forward to creating friendships like this. Because in the end, they are the ones that truly matter. I will tie the knot with someone’s son one day, will I keep hanging out my male friends? It’s actually not advisable.
Right now, I am clicking invisible glasses to future female friendships to be created.