Sometimes people vanish from our lives without a reason. Even if there is, they do not consider you worthy enough for an explanation. They just wake up one morning and decide that you no longer mean anything to them.
You ask yourself, “Why did they do it?”, “Why did they vanish from your life without a notice?” It’s like dropping a book in the middle of a sentence. Is it that the friendship didn’t mean anything to them? Or you did something wrong? Even if you did, couldn’t they be courageous enough to speak to you about it?
For a long time, you keep haunting for answers. You look within yourself trying to find out which of your flaws that must have driven them away. Did you hurt them? Did you say something that got them offended? How come after years of friendship, they could easily do without you? Are you that disposable? It’s terrible searching for reasons why you may have been dumped or rather ghosted.
Most times you don’t know how to handle the pain. It’s a lot easier getting over a romantic relationship where you get dumped because your partner found someone better or wasn’t feeling the relationship anymore. You become each other’s “Ex”. At least there is a label; there is a closure. You know why they left.
But that’s not the case here. You have pondered a lot on why they phased out of your life without an explanation. At a point you made excuses for them – perhaps they were going through some stuff and didn’t know how to share or maybe they needed some time alone to deal with the problem. And you respected that, hoping that they will come around when they are ready to talk. But days turned into weeks and weeks into months – you reached out but your calls were missed and never returned and messages left on “blue ticks”.
The hardest part about being ghosted is that there is no explanation; no closure. You are left hurt and confused; filling the awkward silence with theories of what you must have done or said. In a blink of an eye, you go from being friends to strangers.
Whenever you go down memory lane, you feel like you hallucinated the friendship all along – the laughter you shared, the late nights you stayed up talking about random things – boys, girls, love, relationship, dreams. Sometimes, you don’t know what to do with these memories because you don’t know if they truly existed.
Days, months and even years passed and gradually you conclude that no matter how much you love someone, you are not guaranteed a spot in their life and that’s okay. Someday, they will leave you behind. Life is not static, after all. It keeps moving whether we like it or not.
So yeah, they may have hurt you so much but YOU KEEP MOVING! With time, the bitterness they left you would slowly be replaced by a sad acceptance that your friendship will never come alive again. That ship had sailed.
But there are some days Facebook notifies you of the posts and pictures you posted years back. An old picture you took together usually pops up. You try to scroll past it as fast as you can but the memories would always come right back. You think about them and wonder if they are okay wherever they are. Has anyone taken your place? Will they leave them the same way they left you?
Out of curiosity, you scroll through their social media profile and from their posts and pictures, it’s quite clear that they are doing fine without you. Your lips part into a sad smile, then you chuckle – It’s funny how someone you were so close to in real life suddenly becomes just another random photo or tweet on your timeline.
Have you ever been ghosted by someone? Share your experience in the comment section.