Do you think young people must go through the “hoe phase” before they finally settle down with one partner?
I once had this discussion with a friend and my answer was, “Yes. I think the hoe phase is an experience everyone should have before getting married”. Before you get judgmental, hear me out.
But first, what is a “Hoe Phase?” According to Urban Dictionary,
“A hoe phase is that phase in a phase in someone’s life when they are fine with exploring promiscuous activities and connecting with random people. The activities may not always end in sex. You might just be flirting non-stop, dancing provocatively with strangers, as well as kissing and making out with random people. The phase helps you find out your likes and dislikes in a partner; you get to explore your sexuality, and know yourself better”. And again, just because “hoe” is attached does not mean it is only ladies that get to experience it. Men too are involved.
So, here is the reason why I think every young person deserves to go through the hoe phase.
The phase is necessary for anyone naturally curious and adventurous. It is in your nature to always seek something more, to always wonder what is at the other end of the tunnel. And the only healthy way you can do that is to explore when you are single with no responsibilities of being a wife or a husband. The fun part is – you get to do all these on your terms. You get to fuck, flirt, make out with whoever you want.
When people who are naturally inquisitive don’t explore much before getting married, they usually realize on the long run that they should have experienced more people. They begin to wonder if they would have met someone better if they had explored. Then they try to satisfy their curiosity and in the process, they cheat.
So, why not mingle with as many persons as you want now that you are single?
Another reason why I think every young person should go through the hoe phase is this – it is a great opportunity to discover yourself, explore your sexuality and know what you like and don’t like in a partner. I’d use myself as an example. From the few guys I have mingled with, I have a better understanding of my love language, I know how I want to be touched and made love to and I know the qualities I like in a partner.
Without passing through the “hoe phase”, how would will I know all these? The point is to experience a lot of people so that when you finally decide to snap out of the phase, you will have enough clarity as to what you want in your next relationship.
Some people may not go through the “hoe phase”. They are okay dating just one person in their lifetime and getting married to them. It is totally fine as long as they don’t step out of their marriage in search of something more.
Others might go through the hoe phase and get carried away. It’s always fun when you are not committed to anyone; you are not dealing with the stress that comes with relationships, not answering to anybody. You just live on your terms.
It takes a lot of self-discipline to put an end to the “hoe phase” thing. But one thing still stands out; it is a phase any curious mind should pass through before settling down.
They are the ones that will likely come up with a lot of “What ifs” if they don’t get to explore. There is nothing wrong with wanting to hoe out as long as you are single and you are protecting yourself. Enjoy it while it lasts. One day, you will look back and smile at the memories.
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